BGC: Shadows and Silence (A
BGC:Tales of the Immortal Knight Saber side story)
By Kain The Seeker
AKA Andrew Graham (Kaintskr@aol.com)
CMA Disclaimer: Bubble Gum Crisis/Highlander and all related characters are property of their respective owners. Colin Waters, Warren Bath, and any other original characters are mine. :)
Lisa shot up in the bed, drenched in sweat and only a second from filling her apartment with a glass rattling scream. She didn't though, not this time. She rolled out of the bed and opened the bar on the other side of the studio apartment. Six nights running, Lisa, she told herself, what is eating you?
She looked at the grim visaged woman in the mirror. She was still pretty, only one scar was beyond the ability of the surgeons. The one that had taken her eye 12 years ago. Most nights she couldn't ignore it. Simple things like the buildings climate control made sure of that. Her eye, the right one, felt like a ball of cold lead in the cool environment of her apartment.
She poured a shot into the glass and walked out onto the patio. She closed her eyes and pictured the view outside her apartment as it had been all those years ago. It seemed that the lights were brighter then, now they were just fluttering sparks that barely kept the shadows at bay.
She was startled by the sound of broken glass. Crap, she thought as her right hand crushed the thick glass tumbler, I haven't had control problems this bad in years. She held up the arm up and examined it closely, as she mentally cued a diagnostic routine. All green. It's not the hardware, Lisa; a part of her whispered, it's the software.
The chrome and myomer gleamed with a slight golden shine as the remains of her drink dribbled down her arm. She knew from long experience that she could close her eyes and still feel the phantom half sensation of her real arm, despite 12 years and countless neural adjustments. Some things science had yet to find a way to do. One of them was the phantom pain syndrome. Scientists said that they just hadn't been able to map out the neural pathways of the brain enough.
She preferred to think that it was the way that the human soul reminded you what had been lost. Once upon a time, she hadn't been able to look at the arm or eye without thinking of Carl. She had killed him. She wasn't the one that had planted the bomb, but it was her story that had gotten him killed.
She closed her eyes and tried to remember him. She could see his face on that autumn day, as the life poured out of him, but she couldn't remember what he looked like in bed as they watched the sunrise together. Or what he had worn on their wedding day. His voice was gone as well, swallowed up by the years of other screams and cries. Why can't I remember him?
She ran the hand up her side and brought it to rest on her face. She felt the cold metal run across the face, leaving a trail of cold afterwards. The textures of the tactile induction pads rasped across her nose as she brought the hand to linger on her scar. She savored the real sensations, of her flesh and cut out the simulated ones of her hand.
She leaned on the railing of the patio and looked down to the street far below. It would be so easy to take that one last step. One step over the railing and gravity would take care of the rest. Lisa shuddered at the thought. When did it becomes so easy to let go? She took another step backwards and drew in a long breath before retreating back into the apartment. Back into the concealing shadows and silences of her life.
The next day she finished and filed the story that she had spent the last month researching in Nor-Cal. Finally, she was done and her editor insisted that she take a few days off. She decided not to argue, there wasn't anything that she really wanted to cover right now and he was right. It had been a long time since she had taken a rest.
She wandered the city, not sure where she wanted to go. Except not back to her apartment. Old habits took over and before she knew it she was in The Firing Line. She had started hanging out there years ago when she was a cub reporter working Metro/City desk as an intern. She had always been conformable around the tactical squad of the ADP. She was related to the one of the officers in Investigation.
The night that a certain cub reporter had grabbed a shotgun from a fallen trooper and held off a runaway B-class boomer before it could harm the trooper really broke the ice. She smiled a little at the memories, they were good ones. She had enjoyed her time with the teams and definitely given the public an earful on life in the trenches.
Before she could slip back into the funk, someone took a seat in the booth. She looked up from her drink and was suprised to see Leon. The old detective smiled at her, looking at her from over the edge of his signature shades. He set his cane beside the booth.
"Heard that you were back in town, Lisa. You didn't stop by the academy to see me, so I figured that I would check out all the old hangouts to see if you were slumming."
"Yeah well, I have had a couple things on my mind, Leon." She looked him over, he still had the rougish smile and shades. He didn't look too out of shape, but she knew that he was determined to keep as fit as possible. "How's the leg?"
"A little phantom pain and the stump itches if I wear the prosthetic too long. The usual."
She looked at him and realized that there was still some of the attraction to him. The old McNichol charm is still going strong. Too bad Priss ruined you for the rest of us Leon. He still had eyes only for the megastar, even though he hotly denied it. Unlike most of his friends, she knew that Priss was just as hung up on him. Only neither of them could walk away from their lives for the other. Leon twisted a little under the scrutiny of her gaze.
"Oh, I've got something that you might find interesting. One of the squadies got something interesting on his camera and came to me to get it identified.", Leon slid a photo-disc across the table, " I'm sure that an ace reporter like yourself would find this interesting." He stood up to leave, and looked at her one last time as he picked up his cane and hobbled out the door. "Give me a call if you want to talk, okay?" She watched him disappear into the night.
She sat at her desk and popped the disc out of her concealed carrier bay. She laid it on the oak desktop and looked at it for long minutes. Leon had done this with her before. He would leak cases that had got quashed for politcal or corporate reasons and she would write them herself or pass them to an associate. Some of her best stories had come from Leon.
Back then she would have leapt at the chance for a scoop like the ones that Leon was offering. Now all I do is wonder if it is worth the energy to pursue it. Calculate what I have to do and what the payoff will be. Compare the bottom line to the sweat and effort. She stood up and looked at the desk for a long time before finally walking away and going to bed. I'm not ready for this.
She came out of the bed screaming, the only reason that the building wasn't awake was the sound proofing of her apartment. Seventh time the charm, Lisa, she told herself as she went through what was rapidly becoming a night routine of drinking and recriminations. Again ending with the long gaze at that final step.
Then why don't I do it, she asked as she turned away. Before she could answer herself, she was back at the desk again and going through her morning routines. Afraid of what her reply might be.
Finally the work and bills were finished and the only that remained was Leon's disc. She held it in her hand and looked at it for a long time. As if she could find the answers she needed in it's surface. She suprised herself at the level of indifference and lack of energy with which she looked at it.
Angry at herself, she slid the disc into her computer and called up the contents. She flipped through the data. It was the typical footage that she had seen before, and the angry drive that had pushed her to look was burning away rapidly with cold indifference replacing it. That was when she found what Leon had hinted toward. It can't be.
Two frames near the end, both badly blurred as if shot from a moving vehicle. Most likely an ADP transport. She worked with renew energy and an interest that startled her. Several minutes with her graphics programs, some of the best money could by, paid off. It beeped loudly as she cleaned up the image and zoomed in on a highlighted section of the picture. Swordsman. The hardsuited vigilante was in flight and looked just a beautiful as the first time she had seen her years before. Lisa couldn't believe it, even with the evidence in front of her. To her, the Knights had always meant hope in a dark world.
I thought that they called it quits after Nene died.
Leon looked at the clock on the table beside him as the pounding continued on his door. 3:23.
Who in the hell? He asked himself as he hobbled to the door and checked the screen. Ah, she looked at the disc.
"Morning, Lisa, would you like some coffee?" He asked as she stalked by him and took a seat at the kitchen counter. She's pissed. He could tell, he had years of experience at dealing with angry women.
He put a cup in front of her and took a seat across the counter from her. She locked eyes with him and waited for him to explain. Oh, no. I'm not going to be cornered that easily, he told her silently as he went through the routine of adjusting his prosthetic. Finally she broke her angry gaze and sighed.
"Alright, Leon. What the hell is going on? Why are they back in business?"
"I'm not sure if they are. Manuel, that's the squadie that took the photo, said that they only appeared once and for only a couple hours. That was a couple weeks ago. They did a quick dash into the tower and then disappeared into the city. My sources in investigation told me that they were seen fighting an unidentified mech in the tower. Genom denies everything. That's all I know."
"Why give it to me?"
"I know that you keep all kinds of records of the Knights and related incidents around the world. Someone told me you were researching a similar vigilante that operated out of Nor-Cal in the States." He put down his cup and looked at her, "I thought that you would be interested."
Lisa stood and walked to the window and looked out on the city. Long minutes passed as she stood there. She finally broke the silence, quietly speaking without bothering to turn.
"I had them, did you know that? I could have unmasked them all."
"Why didn't you?"
"I'm still not sure. Nene... you remember Nene Romanova? The dispatcher you used to pick on so much?"
"Yeah, I remember Nene." Leon went cold at the realization of what she was telling him.
"I had a photo of her. She was the pink one, the one that the squad called Hacker. She had just been hit by a boomer and her face screen was knocked off. A one in a million shot from where I was at. I could have written my own ticket with that picture." She sipped from the cup for a moment while she sorted out the old memories, "I confronted her the day that Miriam attacked the ADP building, but she never got to answer. The boomers attacked and she rushed off to defend the building. Without a hardsuit, against boomers. Finally, the other Knights arrived and she used her suit to defeat the one in control of the building's security system." She looked at him for a moment before turning back to look at the dark city. "She saved my life, at least a dozen times that one night. I could have ruined hers and still she fought to keep me alive. I...I couldn't betray that trust. So, I gave her the disc and one of the two photos I made. When she was killed, I went up on top of the roof of the Paper and cried. It was so dammed unfair. She didn't deserved to die. I never got to thank her."
Lisa put the cup down and walked to the door while Leon watched. She turned to look back at him one last time as she opened the door and stepped out.
"Thanks for listening Leon. And tell Priss I am sorry to have disturbed."
"Priss? What makes you think she's here?" Lisa smiled as Leon looked at her with a panicked expression. Lisa had to work hard at not laughing at his expression, it was so comic. She succeeded, barely.
"She left her jacket on the couch and you can't affort 40,000 yen Kaluaha coffee blends like the one you just served me." With that she closed the door and was gone.
Leon smacked his head on the countertop in frustration. Here he was feeling so sure that the secret was covered up and Lisa spent next to no effort and discovered it in less than 10 minutes.
"Leon, you shouldn't have given her that disc." Priss said as she came into the room wearing his shirt. It looked a lot better on her than me, Leon noted, but then I'm biased.
"Yeah, well I had heard somethings and when I saw her, I just couldn't let her build up those walls she is behind. Manuel would have gone to someone else eventually and I trust Lisa's sense of restraint. Priss, you have told me more than once that I should go with my instincts."
"Yeah"
"Well they tell me that I had to give her something that would shake her up. Get her out of the rut of violence and blood that has become her world."
"You know she could figure out the identities of the rest of the Knights."
"Afraid that she might Priss? Maybe she already has, Lisa would have been one hell of a detective if she had wanted."
"No, not really. I just think that it would be best if the past was left in the past."
"The why did you step back into that hardsuit after 20 years without it?"
"I.. I can't tell you why Leon. You have to trust me on that."
"I do Priss, and you've got to trust Lisa."
Lisa sat in the den and watched her daughter Kara play with her cat. Jake sat nearby and watched both of them. Her ex-husband hadn't changed much in the last six years, she could already read what he was going to say by his body language.
"She always happier when you come to visit." This surprised her, he's changing tactics on me.
"Yeah, I'm sorry that the job keeps me away for home so long." She looked back at him, "I think of her all the time Jake."
"Well, she doesn't understand that Lisa. All she know is that she gets to see her mother more on the Vid than in person. What is worse is that she can't understand why her mother won't hold her."
"You know why." Lisa struggled to put the past out of her mind. It was hard not to see herself grabbing her daughter and throwing her clear of the explosions. Or hearing the screams as Kara's bones snapped under the pressure of her cybernetically enhanced grip. Or picturing the doctor as he informed her that Kara wouldn't hear another sound till her teens when she would be able to get an implant.
"It wasn't your fault. Quit blaming yourself for it Lisa." She stood, anger finally getting the better of her. She was about to start screaming at him, start the argument that always begins between them. This time she was stopped by a gently touch on her hand. She looked down at her daughter.
:Mommy, don't fight with Daddy please: her daughter signed. Lisa sighed ,pushed the anger out with it, and signed back to her.
:I'm sorry dear, Mommy has a lot on her mind and she is very tired.: Her watch beeped, a reminder of her appointment, one that would be almost impossible to resheducle. :I have to go and see someone right now, but I will be back soon. Okay?: Her daughter's face clouded but only for a moment. Kara grew really excited and started to sign rapidly, Lisa had to struggle to keep up with her.
:Okay, but you have to hug me bye, and promise to be here for my birthday party next week.: Lisa was shocked, she had completely forgotten that it would be her daughters 8th birthday in a week. What else have I forgotten ? She went down on one knee and wrapped her left arm around her daughter and hugged Kara close to her chest. Taking care not to touch her with her cybernetic arm. Then she nodded as she released the small child from the hug and signed out a reply.
:I promise.: Kara leaned forward and kissed her before running to play with her cat again.
"That is the first time that you have touched her in a long time Lisa." Jake said as he walked her to the door. He was smiling as he said it.
"I know, it's ..." she bowed her head to hide the tears from view, "so hard to touch her when I realize that she is so fragile." She looked up at her ex-husband, "I'm afraid that I will hurt her again." Jake sighed and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. She could still hear the scream as her hand crushed Kara's arm.
"I know it's hard for you, Lisa. But you have to forgive yourself sometime."
"I'm trying Jake, I really am trying."
"Ms. Vanette, I am glad to see you again after all this time. When was the last time that we got to talk?" Lisa did a quick mental calender check.
"That would be about 9 years ago, I think, Dr.."
"Oh, please call me Sylia, Lisa." Lisa was thrown off stride by this change in Sylia Stingray, she had changed greatly in the years since they had last talked. That interview was almost painfully formal, especially compared to the first occassion that they had talked together 20 years ago. It was as if she had lost some great weight that had been weighing her down. "So, what is this about?"
"I.. came to ask a favor of you, Sylia." Lisa placed the portfolio on the table and slid it across to her. "I would like your impressions on this ... and your permission to publish it."
Sylia Stingray picked up the portfolio and started thumbing through it. Several minutes passed as she quietly flipped page after page of photographs. The minutes dragged on further as she finally hit the written part of her project and spent a long time looking over the contents and reading it closely. Finally, after a hour or more, she put the portfolio down and looked over to the reporter.
"Why do you need my permission?"
Lisa pulled one photo out of her jacket, it was old and worn but still clear enough to make out the face of the woman in the hardsuit. Sylia looked at it impassively and waited for Lisa's answer.
"Nene Romanova was a Knight Saber, one of yours. She saved my life, even though I could have ruined her life and the lives of all her friends. She was my friend, Sylia, and I never got to say thank you. She died before I could, I want to say it now. By showing all the good that the Knights did in this city." She met Sylia's quiet gaze and added, "FOR this city."
Sylia stood and walked over to the window and looked out. Lisa waited as the older woman looked from the window to her and back. Long minutes passed as the scrutiny continued. Finally Sylia walked back to the table and looked her in the eye.
"What do you want, Lisa?" Lisa knew that it wasn't about the book. Sylia was asking for something more from her. She swallowed nervously and tried to explain why she was doing it.
"I... want to be able to hold my daughter without being afraid of breaking an arm or leg again. I want to have her whole and able to hear her mother say, I love you. I want," tears long dammed up started to flow, "to be able to remember what my first husband looked like. To see his face like it was when we made love. To feel something again when I am on a job. To not be afraid of whether I live or die." She brought her right hand down on the table, cracking the thermalplast cover, and raised the hand up to Sylia. It's chrome shell was unscratched. She could barely talk through the sobs, "I want to feel again, Sylia. To be Human." She slid to the floor and continued to sob. Lisa barely noticed as Sylia wrapped her arms around her and just held the crying woman in them for a long time.
After a long time, Lisa looked up at the senior Stingray and whispered her answer.
"I just wanted to say Thank You."
"The answer is yes. Lisa, Nene knew how you felt. She would have wanted you to forgive yourself."
Sylia watched as Lisa drove away. Her partner stepped into the room, quietly but Sylia sensed her presence. She waited quietly as the other woman leafed through the portfolio that Lisa had left behind.
"I never realized how much she followed our jobs after that night."
"She took a lot of those photos, but most came from the ADP archives and the net. It's the interviews that interested me. She went to a lot of work to find that many survivors. I am surprised at the diversity of lives that we affected." Sylia replied quietly. "Maybe you should have come in and let her know what really happened all those years ago. Told her the truth, and not let her continue living with the lie." Her partner frowned and leaned back on the couch, this was an old arguement between them.
"I can't go around telling everyone that I knew the truth, Sylia." Sylia sighed and sat down beside her partner. "Half of Megatokyo would wind up finding out my secret, and I can't do that. Too many others of my kind would be put at risk."
"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier to see that type of pain when I know the truth."
"If it is any comfort, Sylia, I don't like it anymore than you do."
"That's good, because the day you stop feeling the pain, Nene, is the day we part company."
Lisa looked out at the city, and watched the lights blink on as the sun disappear over the horizon. The brightness that she had remembered in the past was again there, it had always been there. She had stopped looking for it. The impulse to take that first step was still there, but now she had it mastered. She knew why she didn't take that step. Why she wasn't afraid of the shadows and silences anymore.
She could feel something coming back to her again. Now, when she closed her eyes and pictured Carl, he was in his tuxedo at their wedding or in their bed watching the sun rise come up over the horizon. She could begin to see the day when she would again hold Kara and not be too concerned about breaking a limb. She could wait another 8 years to have Kara hear her say "I love you Kara." She even knew what that feeling within her was. It was the name of a white angel flying on wings over the Megatokyo skyline.
Hope.
Fin.
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