Spike and Mr. Edmund,

 

Reality Shift series, part 4

 

By Shadow

 

Disclaimers – I do not own Buffy or any related characters from the show. They belong to the god that is Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

 

Other Disclaimers – This is Part 4 in the demented series that has sprung from my mind.

 

Feedback – Constructive comments and thoughts can be sent to me, flames will be summarily laughed at and deleted. Tankesly@rocketmail.com

 

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Faith stood back and watched as Drusilla beat the hell out of the vampire that had been threatening her friends.  While on one hand; she was a bit disturbed by the vampire’s possessiveness of Wills and B, the other hand accepted it, knowing that it guaranteed that someone was looking out for her friends one way or another.  Besides fang was a pretty good vamp to have at your back when some stupid demon or other was trying to open the Hellmouth.  “Ooh that’s going to leave a mark”, she commented with an evil grin noting Dru’s fighting stance as the younger vampire was steadily beat into a pulp by a ticked off cursed vampire.

 

Drusilla the Bloody, also known as Spike, merely grunted at the Slayer’s comment most of her attention focused on punishing the worthless minion that dared to touch what was hers.  Soul or no soul, Willow and Buffy were hers, everyone knew that the two were under her protection, and there wasn't anything that angered her more than people touching her property without her permission.  “Not a mark... just dust”, the dark haired vampire growled growing bored with torturing the hapless minion and putting him out of his misery via a stake right through the heart. “Pillock”, she sneered spitting on the dust remains of the vampire. “So my loves... who is up for ice cream?”

 

A muffled thud over by the crypt caught the vampire and Slayer’s attention, “Looks like we missed one Fang.... you want the honours or shall I?” Faith questioned pulling out a fresh stake.

 

With a frown Dru moved away from the three humans, something tugging at the back of her mind, as she got closer to the figure that had fallen off the roof of the crypt.  Her frown turning to confusion as the figure rolled over and she found herself staring down into the bright blue eyes of a vampire she had thought she would never see again.

 

“H’lo, mum!” William greeted cheerfully, a wide grin planted firmly on his face as the older vampire towered over him.

 

“Friend of yours Fang?” Faith questioned coming to a stop beside the other woman, wanting to know what the souled vampire had found so interesting to stare at.

 

“Slayer,” William hissed out through his goofy looking grin not quite pulling off the menacing growl he was going for laying flat on his back and staring up at them.

 

“Ah huh”, Faith said pausing for a moment, “can I stake him now?” She asked glancing over at Drusilla a hopeful look in her eyes.

 

“No”, Dru replied sparing the Slayer a quick look before turning her attention to the grinning vampire, “William what are you doing here?”

 

“Daddy is being a big pillock-head and Mr. Edmund said it was time to leave, because he was just no fun anymore”, he explained from his somewhat awkward position, “so I come to live with you because Mr. Edmund said you would be a lot more fun to be around.”

 

“Fang is there something you want to tell us?” the Slayer asked with a big grin of her own, not sensing too much of a threat from the bleached-blonde vampire laying flat on his back, aside from the normal

‘it’s a vamp stake it’ urge she usually got around the undead.

 

Growling low at the Slayer, Dru reached down to help the blonde vampire to his feet noting with displeasure the way he favoured his side. Pulling his tattered shirt out of his pants, Dru inspected his side, “This is old, why haven't you fed to fix it?”

 

“Because I would have to drain somebody and the lady in the moon said I can’t kill anyone but nasty beings if I'm going to stay with you.  So I couldn’t feed on anyone... they were all nice people”, William explained, “and the rats just aren't filling no matter how many you eat.”

 

“Okay that was way more information than I needed”, Willow said in a shaky voice, turning an interesting shade of green at his words, Buffy rubbing her back absently in comfort.

 

Turning at the new voice, William's face lit up when he saw his two new little sisters standing there.  “Hi, I’m William,” he introduced himself holding out his hand, his eyes almost shining in the moonlight.

 

“Is he always like this?” Faith questioned after a moment trying to remember everything she supposedly had read about Dru and her family, while she was in fact looking at an auto-racing magazine instead.

 

“Unfortunately... yes,” Dru replied with a tired sigh. “Come on William if you are going to stay with me you are going to have to meet the Watcher.”

 

At the word ‘watcher’ William’s eyes got bigger and he practically bounced around the group merrily.  “Oh goody I get to meet Uncle Ru now!”

 

“Uncle Ru?!”  Willow and Buffy said as one sharing a confused look.

 

“You know Fang, I think I'm going to like Blondie being in town”, Faith said with a laugh, “just as long as he behaves himself.”

 

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Later that night -

The Library

 

Rupert Giles wasn't sure what to make of the bleached-blonde vampire that had returned to the Library with his Slayer.  After Drusilla had assured him that William would indeed behave while in her care, the watcher found himself in a bear hug from the vampire in question being called “Uncle Ru”.

 

Thankfully however William had settled down after nearly breaking two of his ribs, and was contently sitting on top of the research table with a mug of blood.  Right now he was telling some story or other to Willow, Buffy and Faith.

 

William looked thoughtful for a moment. “Daddy just hasn’t been himself lately. He’s quite frustrated actually, you know.”

 

“Frustrated?” Willow questioned slowly, trying to follow his logic, something she was finding to be very challenging. So far in her four-hour relationship with the strange little vamp, she found herself liking him despite his undead status.

 

“Oh yes, he hasn’t been able to get it up properly for about nine years or so. Keeps blaming all the minions because he got beat up by one of his intended victims last year. A little old lady in Kiev with one mean backhand, nearly staked him, she did...it was ever so much fun to watch. So you see he’s

quite frustrated...down right impudent actually. He ever so much needs a good laying,” William finished in a conspiring whisper to the Slayer and Hacker, his bright blue eyes hopeful and honest.

 

It was all too much for the Slayer; Faith finally fell out of her chair as laughter shook her entire body.

 

Leaning over the edge of the table to regard the Slayer rolling on the floor in laughter, “Is she all right, you think?”

 

“She’s as all right as she gets”, Buffy commended for the first time, mischief shining in her eyes… “So you are going to tell us who this Mr. Edmund is?  And why he’s so taken with the laughing Slayer over

there?”

 

“Oh Mr. Edmund”, William said, turning his attention from the laughing Slayer with a shrug, sometimes he really didn’t understand humans. “He’s my bestest friend, he helps me when daddy is being all mean and nasty.  He’s the one that told me it was time to come live with mum for awhile.”  He continued, “He really likes the Slayer, says she looks good in a bathing suit... if you go in for that sort of thing, which I don’t. I mean she’s the Slayer.  Who wants to look at the nasty old Slayer in a bathing suit?”

 

“You’re doing wonders for my ego here, Blondie”, Faith commented regaining control of herself to hear about the mysterious Mr. Edmund. “So if you're here where is this Edmund guy?”

 

“Oh he’s here, he always travels with me.”

 

“William if you got a vampire friend with you, we really need to meet him too, just so Faith doesn’t accidentally stake him one night while on patrol,” Willow gently said placing a hand on his knee.

 

“Oh no worries she’s not going to stake Mr. Edmund... I got him right here,” he insisted digging into the deep pocket of his black duster and pulled out a worn teddy bear. “See... this is Mr. Edmund, no staking for him”, he proclaimed proudly showing off the old teddy bear.

 

“You know Faith?  I think the two of you are a perfect match,” Buffy said after a moment of stunned silence in the Library.

 

The End

 

Of part four anyway. : )

 

Shadow --

Director of Public Safety of the Senior Executive Committee on List

Gutter Affairs and vampire teddy bear; Official Dungeon Keeper and Big

Bad.  Official woods outback vampire fruit bat.

 

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