Flying Without Wings

By Red Demon

Disclaimers – Buffy, Faith Willow and others from the show belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended.

Feedback – Please do, you can reach me at senseiferret@yahoo.com

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“Everybody’s looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You find it in the strangest places

Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children

Some find it in their lovers eyes

Who can’t deny the joy it brings

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning

Some in the solitary lives

You find it in the works of others

A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem

You've got to fight for every dream

‘Cos who’s to know

Which one you let go

Would make you complete”

~ Westlife, Flying Without Wings ~

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Joyce smiled at Buffy before sitting next to her half asleep daughter on the bed. “Wake up sleepyhead. You don’t want to be late for your first day do you?”

“Do I have to go? I should wait a few days... you know to get used to the town.” Joyce followed Buffy’s gaze to the wheelchair sitting next to the bed. She patted Buffy on the leg.

“I know that kids can be cruel but honey you have to go back sometime. Besides you don’t know what these kids will be like. That’s why we decided to give Sunnydale a chance.” Buffy

felt the tears forming behind her eyelids. Joyce stood up placing a kiss between the twin scars on Buffy's forehead. “Do you need help?”

Before the accident she had been independent, she’d even been a cheerleader but now she had to rely on her mom for help with the things she would have done with ease just a year ago. “I’ll be all right.” At times she felt like crawling out of her skin at how dependent she was on other people.

“Okay. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Buffy waited until she heard Joyce moving around in the kitchen before pulling the covers off her useless legs and she damned the drunk driver for the millionth time. If only she hadn’t agreed to go out to dinner with her dad that night. If only they had stayed a second longer at the restaurant then the other car wouldn’t have hit them. But all the if only’s couldn’t change the past.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

“You must be Buffy Summers.” Buffy looked up from the computer she was typing at when a redheaded girl sat next to her. Buffy felt her heart skip a beat when she looked into the girls beautiful green eyes. They held the same sadness that she often saw when she looked in the mirror.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Oh, I’m Willow. The troll wanted me to show you around but I was running late this morning.”

“The troll?”

Willow brushed her on the arm when she bent down to pick up a book and a tiny bolt of electricity passed between them. “Principal Snyder. Anyway, I see you found the computer class.” Buffy could feel the energy coming from Willow but before she could say anything the bell rang signaling the end of class. Buffy waited for the classroom to empty before rolling into the crowded hallway.

Willow fell into step beside the her and a dark haired guy ran up and slung his arm across Willow's shoulders. “Man Wills I’m glad you’re back, Snyder wasn’t buying my story.” Xander glanced at Buffy. “Who’s this? I'm Xander.”

“This is Buffy. She’s from, um, I’m not sure where she’s from.” Xander pulled a twinkie out of his backpack and stuffed it into his mouth before wiping his sticky hands on his blue jeans.

He pulled out another twinkie and stuck it in his mouth. Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at him. He reminded her of one of her closet friends from Hemery.

“Wuft.” She translated that as what.

“You eat like a pig.” Willow opened the library door and Buffy followed Xander in.

“I’ve been trying to tell him that for years but he doesn’t listen.” A dark haired girl sat with her feet on a long table in the middle of the room. An older man, surrounded by books frowned at the girl. “How did slaying go last night, Willow?”

Xander coughed drawing the older man's attention. “Oh hello, er, um, how can I help you?”

Buffy felt the tension in the air. “I, um, I need books.” The man, flipped the book that he was reading shut and stood up.

“Good, I’m Giles, er, Mr. Giles... the librarian. What did you say your name was?”

“Buffy Summers.” Buffy placed the schedule that she'd pulled out of her pocket onto her legs. She didn’t like the look that the man was giving her. Out of all the changes that had happened in her life she couldn’t stand the looks of pity people would give her when they thought she wasn’t watching. Most of them came from teenagers and young kids and she could understand that. They didn’t know better but when the looks came from adults all she could feel was hatred towards them. “Why don’t I come back when it’s less busy.”

Willow watched Buffy exit through the library doors before turning to Giles. She could feel her face starting to turn red. “Why did you just run her off like that!”

“I didn’t run her off... she left on her own free will.” Giles crossed to his office and returned a second later with another book in his hand. He placed the book between Willow and Faith ignoring the fuming Slayer. “Here read this.”

I went to the hospital today to visit Ms. Summers. I barely

recognized the young girl that I have been secretly watching for

the last month. She has yet to begin breathing on her own and

that blasted contraption remains attached to her head. The

doctors have told me that it is a halo brace and it will keep her

shattered backbone immobile while her body continues its slow

recovery. The doctors have also informed me that Ms. Summers will

never walk again. That is what brought about my trip to the

hospital today. I needed proof that she will not be able to

perform her duties and that is what I saw today. I am heading

back to England within the week to request the calling of a

different slayer. I wish the best of luck to the forgotten

slayer. - Merrick, watcher

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Willow walked next to Faith through the graveyard. Her slayer senses were still tingling from the slight contact with Buffy earlier in the day. She had felt the jolt when they touched but the blonde hadn’t seemed to notice.

“Spill it Red.” Willow stopped walking and sat down on a headstone and watch the brunette pace in front of her.

“Why do you think there's something to spill?”

“Well first you answered my question with a question. Second you’ve barely said a word all night. Usually you can’t stop babbling and I have a feeling this has to do with a certain wheelchair bound blonde babe who should have been the slayer, but instead you were called and when the master drowned you, I was called... and you get the point.”

“And you say I’m the babbler.”

“Well...”

“Did you see her green eyes? They were intense. And when we touched in computer class it was like wow.”

Faith punched Willow in the arm. “Someone has a crush.”

“I do not...” Willow melted under the younger Slayer’s intense gaze. “Well okay I do, but I’m sure Buffy’s not into me like that. She thinks of me only as a friend.”

“She likes you in same ways that you like her.”

“You’re lying.” Willow blushed knowing that Faith wasn’t lying about this. She’d caught Buffy looking at her a couple times in the hallway during the day.

Faith pretended to look offended. “Have I ever lied to you before?”

“Do you want me to answer that?”

“No. But I’m not lying to you about this. She likes you.”

“You think?”

“Yeah I do. It’s the weekend, you should take her out to lunch.”

“I don’t even have her address.” Faith stopped pacing in front of her giving her fellow Slayer a wicked smile.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And seeing how you’re Will there has to be a way.”

PART TWO

“Everybody’s looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You find it in the strangest places

Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children

Some find it in their lovers eyes

Who can’t deny the joy it brings

When you’ve found that special thing

You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning

Some in the solitary lives

You find it in the works of others

A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem

You’ve got to fight for every dream

‘Cos who’s to know

Which one you let go

Would make you complete”

~ Westlife, Flying Without Wings ~

Willow sat on top of the headstone long after Faith went to do whatever it was that Faith did after patrol. Willow didn’t want to think about Faith’s horny actions. It led to thoughts of Buffy. She had barely met the blonde but her feelings were... well she couldn’t describe her feelings. And then there was the way Giles had looked at Buffy. That had made her furious and she wasn’t furious often. A shadow passed over her face and she stood up.

“Angel.”

“Willow.”

Angel stepped into the light. “Is there some dark prophecy you want to warn me about?” Willow didn’t really like the brooding vampire who only showed up when something big was about to happen usually resulting in bad things happening to her.

“Your friend has powers. She can see things...the future, the past.”

“My friend?” Willow asked in confusion.

“The crippled one.”

“Buffy? How...”

Angel shrugged a slight smile spreading on his face. “I lurk.” The smile was gone within seconds of appearing and moments later he had disappeared into the darkness.

“I hate it when he does that.”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Buffy took the grocery bag that Joyce was holding out for her and put it on her lap before unlocking the wheels and rolling up the ramp that led to the front door of their new house. Joyce had found the huge house on one of her initial visits to Sunnydale after Buffy had stabilized in the hospital. The rooms were spacious and it hadn’t taken a lot of convincing on Joyce’s part to get the landlord to remodel it to fit the needs of a disabled person. In fact the tall dark haired owner had insisted that they do anything to it that they needed.

“I don’t know about you but I’m pooped.” Buffy sat the grocery bag on top of the counter. “I didn’t realize shopping could be so exhausting.” Buffy rolled her shoulders trying to relieve the ache that had formed halfway into the trip to the store.

“You should have told me you were tired. I could’ve brought you home and then gone back to finish.”

“I thought you wanted me to go. To do more ‘normal’ things.” Buffy saw the sadness pass over her mom’s face and instantly regretted saying that. Joyce had become almost like her best friend and was with her through every moment of the recovery. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

“Buffy that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you overdoing it. Now go get changed and I’ll stretch you. Lunch can wait.” Buffy nodded and went through the kitchen doorway knowing not to argue with her mom.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“He said she can see things?” Giles came out of his kitchen with two cups of tea. He handed one to Willow and then sat down in the chair opposite her. “The past and the future.”

“Giles you know how cryptic Angel can be.” Willow accepted the cup but didn’t take a drink. It was almost eleven and Willow was starting to wish that she hadn’t visited Giles until that afternoon. She needed to find Buffy’s address and her watcher kept asking the same questions over and over.

“Yes, well. I’m not sure what he means but Buffy’s powers could come in handy. See if you can find Angel on your patrol tonight. I’d like to talk with him.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Willow handed Giles the cup and practically ran out the door.

Giles watched the door slam behind Willow. “I’ll never understand those kids.”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Willow stood on the ramp in front of the mansion that Angel owned. After hacking into the office files she found the address but now that she was standing in front of the house, she wasn’t sure that it was a good idea. Gathering the strength from the inner force she relied on as a slayer Willow walked up the ramp and rang the doorbell.

She was about ready to leave when the door opened revealing an older woman who had to be Buffy’s mom.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes. No, um, Yes.” She laughed nervously at her sudden inability to make sense. “I’m Willow. I’m a friend, or... I want to be a friend, or... can I start over?”

“That might be a good idea.”

“Is Buffy home?”

“I’m Joyce and yes Buffy’s home.” Joyce opened the door wider to let Willow in before leading her through the foyer and into the living room. Some of the furniture had been moved to the corner of the room and Buffy was on an exercise mat in the middle.

Buffy felt the energy in the room shift and she knew who had been at the door. She rolled her upper body so she was in a position to see the redhead. The sun glinted off Willow’s hair creating a halo of red and Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat.

Joyce noticed the look on her daughter’s face but decided not to ask about it until they were alone. She hooked her arms underneath Buffy’s and pulled her into a bear hug. Buffy tried to fight the panic that surged through her whenever she was being lifted. She had no control of her body and the fear of being dropped was overwhelming. She felt her breathing start to slow as Joyce lowered her into the chair.

“I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Willow waited until Joyce disappeared through the doorway before she gathered her nerves.

“Iwantedtoknowifyouwantedtogoeatlunchwithme?”

Buffy looked at Willow startled. She didn’t know that someone was capable of speaking that fast before she realized what Willow had actually said. “Did you ask me to lunch?”

“Um, yeah that is if you want to go.”

Buffy picked at her sweatpants. “I look like a mess.”

“No. You look beautiful.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Willow squeaked turning three shades of red within a second.

Buffy glanced back at Willow, who was busy staring at the floor, before disappearing down the hallway. Did she say that she was beautiful? Was it possible that Willow liked her like that? Buffy shook her head knowing that no one would like her in any way other than a friend. She just wouldn’t get her hopes up, that way she wouldn’t get hurt.

PART THREE

“Everybody's looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You find it in the strangest places

Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children

Some find it in their lovers’ eyes

Who can’t deny the joy it brings

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning

Some in the solitary lives

You find it in the works of others

A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

When you’ve found that special thing

You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem

You’ve got to fight for every dream

‘Cos who’s to know

Which one you let go

Would make you complete.”

~ Westlife, Flying Without Wings ~

Willow walked next to Buffy her hand resting lightly on the back of Buffy’s chair. It was as close to holding her hand as possible.

“I love that you get cold when it’s seventy-one degrees out, I love

that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re lookin’ at me like I’m nuts, I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Buffy paused, trying to read the expression on Willow's face. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

“Oh no, of course not. It was just my turn for a quote, right? So that was me taking my turn.” Willow let her hand fall to her side when Buffy started moving again. She silently cursed herself for not being brave enough to tell Buffy how she felt.

“Oh.” Buffy fought to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She promised herself that she wouldn't get her hopes up when Willow had asked her out.

After almost three weekends of lunches, ‘walks’ in the park and near kisses she thought that their friendship was starting to become more than just friendship. “I. . . I don’t know.”

“When Harry Met Sally. Your turn.” If Buffy was going to let it drop then Willow wasn’t going to argue.

“I see dead people.”

“What! Where?” Willow dropped into a fighting stance in front of Buffy, a stake appearing in her hands. She scanned the area seeing and sensing nothing out of the ordinary.

“What are you doing Will? Is that a stake?”

“It’s not a stake. It’s a, um, a toothpick.”

“What do you think I am, Stupid?” Buffy started around Willow hot tears streaming down her face.

“Buffy wait!” Willow grabbed Buffy’s wheels. “I can explain.”

“Let go of my wheelchair!”

“Okay. You give me no choice.”

“Willow!” Buffy screamed as she was pulled out of her chair and over

Willow’s shoulder.

Willow ignored Buffy’s fingernails digging into her back and took off for the library.

Their screaming was bound to attract something evil.

<<<<>>>>

“A Vampire Slayer?” Buffy looked at the librarian skeptically and then at Willow sitting beside her. She crossed her arms.

“Y-yes. I-Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and the skill to hunt vampires, to stop their evil. . .”

Giles trailed off when Faith banged through the library doors and up to Buffy. “Here ya go B. One handy dandy wheelchair ready for use.” Faith jumped out of the chair. It had been fun to use on the way to the library but she was glad that she could just get out of it at anytime.

“I-I need to go.” Buffy pulled herself into the chair.

“Let me go with you?” Willow pleaded. Buffy hadn’t said a word to her since she sat her in the chair over an hour ago.

Buffy turned at the doorway. “I don’t pretend to understand what or who you are but you should have come clean with me instead of pretending to be my friend. I really wanted to get to know you.”

She let the doors bang behind her.

<<<<>>>>

The air was freezing as Buffy fought for breath. Blurry images played before her eyes. There was a terrible buzzing and bleeping. She felt incredible numbness as her eyes cleared enough that she could see the tangled mess of metal. Human shaped images darted around her but she couldn’t focus. They were saying something but she couldn’t hear.

The scene shifted and she was in the computer room. She saw Willow lean down to get her dropped book. And when they touched, darkness engulfed her.

<<<<>>>>

PART FOUR

“Everybody’s looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You find it in the strangest places

Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children

Some find it in their lovers’ eyes

Who can’t deny the joy it brings

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning

Some in the solitary lives

You find it in the works of others

A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem

You’ve got to fight for every dream

‘Cos who’s to know

Which one you let go

Would make you complete

~ Westlife, Flying Without Wings ~

Willow watched the doors bang shut. She felt tears start to form in her eyes but held back the urge to cry. She wouldn’t cry. Not in front of Giles and definitely not in front of Faith.

Why hadn’t she just told Buffy what she was completely head over heels for her? Why couldn’t she have just ‘come clean’

as Buffy put it about the slaying?

“Willow.” Giles was next to her, his hand resting on her shoulder. But she barely noticed. Things had happened so fast. She wasn’t really sure what had happened.

Giles saw lost look through the tears that had started to roll down Willow’s face. Normally he would tell her to ignore what had just happened. He would tell her that matters of the heart shouldn’t affect her sacred duty. But he knew that Buffy Summers had directly affected Willows sacred duty. And he knew that neither could survive without the other.

“Willow. Go after her. Don’t let her be alone right now. She needs you and you need her. You’re her chosen protector. She’s defenseless against the darkness.”

One second she was starring into the eyes of her watcher knowing he spoke the truth. The next second pain shot through her and she stumbled forward barely staying on her feet.

Hands steadied her. Helping her into a chair. But she felt nothing but the pain. Nauseating pain and complete numbness. The bond that had been crackling since Buffy had fled moments earlier suddenly started to fade.

Willow stumbled to her feet. They barely wanted to function but she made them. Buffy was in trouble. Every cell in her body was telling her to hurry. She couldn’t seem to get them to move fast enough and she barely felt Giles and Faith supporting her. Her vision started to fade and she felt the world shift.

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

Before her was only darkness and then the brightest light that Willow had ever seen. Buffy was standing before her. Laughter filled her face. And the sun glinted off her hair forming a halo. Suddenly all laughter left and pain overtook her features.

“If you love me you’ll be there.”

“Where?” Willow tried to move forward but couldn’t. Paralysis had set in and she couldn’t move.

“Now you know what its like. It's going to be hard.”

“What is?” Willow tried to move her hands, legs, anything but she couldn’t. Fear had completely over come her. And Buffy made no move to help her.

“They’re waiting for you.” She watched as Buffy pointed towards her. An image formed separating her from Buffy. Faith and Giles were leaning over her. Trying to get her to wake up. She was still in the library and a jacket had been placed under her head.

The image started to flicker and just as suddenly as it appeared it disappeared. Buffy was next to her but she still made no move to touch her.

“Looks like they truly love you. I’m not going to be able to do it alone.”

“Do what?”

She watched Buffy’s hand slowly touch her face and she felt the paralysis slowly start to recede. “It won’t be easy. Much harder than the first time.” It seemed like a haze had filled the room when Buffy’s lips gently touched hers.

As soon as she started to kiss back Buffy dropped like a sack to the ground. And a whisper floated up to her.

“It’ll be hard but only you can help.”

Part Five

“Everybody’s looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You find it in the strangest places

Places you never knew it could be.”

It was like she had taken a vacation from her body. Or at least she had taken a break from it. She could see her body convulsing on the floor where she must have fallen. Her wheelchair lay tipped over, just out of reach.

A brown figure moved over her with speed that she didn’t know existed. It was a mass of fur and teeth. Inhuman growls turned into human screams of terror as it latched onto her limp legs. With a furry it tore into the flesh and suddenly she wasn’t watching from outside her body.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Willow lurched upright from her position on the floor. She clutched at her legs, pain ripping through them like she had never felt before. Tears ran down her face and she barely managed to stay conscious.

Suddenly she was stumbling towards the checkout counter with no knowledge of even getting up. She felt helpless and disconnected from her body as Buffy’s terror and pain swept over her. She was terrified of the intensity of the pain, knowing that her resistance to pain was higher than that of other people.

Willow struggled to project strength and love towards the connection that was flickering in and out. Time was of the essence and she felt her vision start to waver again but she would not pass out again.

Buffy needed her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Willow felt detached, as if she was moving in slow motion. She watched the beast fall onto Buffy. She felt the cold metal leave her hands and she heard the dart gun hit the floor. She could feel her body moving forward but all she could see was the mangled mess of the girl that she loved.

Buffy could feel the dead weight of the beast as it lay on her but she didn’t have the strength to push it off. She suddenly felt exhausted. All she wanted to do was sleep. She barely felt the weight being lifted off her. And she barely heard Willow whispering that everything would be okay. She was so cold despite Willow’s warm hands on her face.

Willow felt the connection start to flicker out. Buffy’s blood ran from deep wounds on most of her body. She tore strips of her coat and wrapped it around the worst.

The contents of her stomach started to rise and her hands shook as she gently wrapped Buffy’s mangled legs. Bones were visible beneath torn muscle and flesh and sirens wailed in the distance.

Still Willow felt detached.

“You find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

When you’ve found that special thing

You’re flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem

You’ve got to fight for every dream

‘Cos who’s to know

Which one you let go

Would make you complete.”

Part 6

The sky was falling,
heaven was calling.
When danger crashes,
rose from the ashes.
I still hear the never-ending echo of those screams.
But it's a life not made for reliving,
it's a life that makes your soul forgiving.
We sealed our bond from the beginning.
Aching, affection,
vulnerable protection;
falling, captured,
crawling, rapture.
The sky was falling.

The wind rustled the treetops creating a lulling whistle.  Birds chirped in the distance and she could hear the faint laughter of children at play.  Her eyes were closed and she leaned her head back.  The sun warmed her face starting a light tan.

She didn't know how long she stayed in that position.  Somehow she didn't care that she hadn't the slightest clue as to where she was.  She realized that for the first time in over a year she was completely happy and content.  There was nothing here that she had to worry about.   She could just relax and allow the gentle breeze to lull her into peace.

The sun settled in the distance but the light never completely disappeared.  The laughter continued and the birds sang merrily.  She closed her eyes, letting the songs lull her into sleep.

<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

Joyce sat next to the bed stroking her daughter's once soft hair.

Now it was greasy and tinted pink with dried blood.  She damned the Gods for making her daughter go through this again.  And she damned the Gods for not giving her family a chance for peace.

"You're going to get better `cause…" Her mind drifted back to when she had said those exact same words almost a year ago.  She had been
so still.  The machines breathing air in and out of her lungs.  And then she woke up, terrified and unable to move.

But this time it was different.   Buffy wasn't in a coma and fighting for life.  She had made it through the night and the Doctor's felt confident that she was out of danger.

But she wouldn't be the same.

She brushed a strand of blond hair off her forehead carefully avoiding the white bandages that covered the left side of her daughter's face.  Tears formed in her eyes and she closed them quickly.  There was a time for crying but now wasn't it.

"Mrs. Summers?"

Willow hovered nervously in the doorway.  She had wanted to visit earlier but the doctor's wouldn't allow it.  So she had left the hospital and wandered around Sunnydale until she ended up back at the hospital in the early morning hours.  She hadn't changed and was still covered in Buffy's blood.

The pain that she had felt in the school had ended when she shot the animal.  But she wanted the pain.  She felt she deserved the pain, not Buffy.

"Willow come here."  Willow heard the tears in the soft voice of Buffy's mother and that scared her more than she wanted to admit.

The older woman was always strong when it came to Buffy.  Willow had never seen her when she was anything but in control.

Now, no one was in control.  Giles was at the library desperately doing research.  Xander had shed tears at the news and she had spent the last several hours walking around coated in blood.

Slowly almost unsure of what would happen, Willow moved further into the room until she was next to the bed.  She felt the connection grow just a little bit stronger and she breathed a sigh of relief despite the damage that had been done.

Her eyes moved over Buffy's body taking in the damage.  The left side of her face was covered in white gauze that was starting to turn red.  Her left arm was in a cast and lay on top of the pink blanket.  The thick bandages on her right arm stuck out against the blue blanket.  For a second she couldn't move her gaze away from the blood being drained from beneath the bandages.

Tears once again formed in her eyes when she saw the sheet dip just above where her right knee should have been.  Her legs lay bandaged on the blanket; tubes drained blood from them.

"T-the doctors say that there was too m-much damage.  They had to…" Joyce trailed off at the look on Willow's face. Hastily she tried to reassure the girl.  "Buffy has been through a lot. She's going to need several reconstructive surgeries and therapy but she'll make it through this.  We just have to be there for her."

     <<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

"I'm not going to be able to do it alone."

"Do what?"

She watched Buffy's hand slowly touch her face and she felt the paralysis slowly start to recede.  "It won't be easy.  Much harder than the first time."  It seemed like a haze had filled the room when Buffy's lips gently touched hers.

As soon as she started to kiss back Buffy dropped like a sack to the ground.  And a whisper floated up to her.

"It'll be hard but only you can help."

     <<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

Willow nodded blindly to Joyce, as the vision from last night overwhelmed her.  "I will Mrs. Summers.  I promise."

"I know you will."  Willow wouldn't let herself take comfort in Joyce's hug.  She was to blame for this.  She should have reacted sooner instead of passing out.  She shouldn't have let Buffy go.

In that second she knew what she had to do.  She had to let go of her stupid insecurities and beg Buffy to forgive her.

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

She felt the sun on her face and a hand gently stroking her hair.  Slowly, not wanting to disturb the peace, she opened her eyes.

"Hey Sweetie." 

"Am I Dead?"  He laughed and she felt her heart melt just a little, but the pain of what had happened still made it hard when it came to him.

"No Baby.  You're just resting so your body can recover."

"My Body?"  Fog seemed to cover her brain as soon as she opened her eyes.  She couldn't remember how she had gotten here. Or why she was even here.  She realized she didn't know where here was, someplace between this and that.  She wasn't sure.  But she knew that he wasn't supposed to be here.  Or maybe she wasn't suppose to be there?

"Daddy I'm sorry for..." 

"Sshh!"  He gently touched her lips, stopping her.

"Here…" He motioned around them.  The sun was just shining over the treetops.  "Here it doesn't matter.  I need you to do something."  He held out his hand to her.

Buffy looked at him quizzically.  Didn't he know?  Of course he didn't know.  He was… He was dead because of her.  "Daddy I can't.  You know, don't you?"  She pulled her hand out of his and scooted further away from.

Hank felt tears form in his eyes seeing her drag her body away from him.  His oldest daughter had always been stubborn and he knew that his mission would not be easy but it had to be done.

"Do you trust me?"

"I can't."

"You can.  Take my hand."

She had been scared many times in her life.  When she first woke up unable to move.  When her mom told her that they were moving to Sunnydale.  When that thing had attacked her in the hallway.  But she had never been as scared as when she took her fathers hand.

Part 7 – Conclusion

"Daddy?"  She tried to keep the fear out her voice as he pulled her into a standing position.  Her legs tried to buckle but they didn't.  She was standing.  She could feel the grass beneath her feet and the wind licking at her legs.

Hank couldn't help but smile at the expression on her face.  Sun glinted off her hair and joyous laughter burst from her lips.

Just as suddenly it disappeared.  "This isn't real is it?  I have to go back now don't I?"

"They need you down there but you need to see something first."

The ground shifted and she was in a hospital room.  Her hospital room.  Willow asleep in the chair next to her bed, clothes matted with dried blood.  The fog lifted from her brain and she felt pain.

+++++++++++

She had been in a lot of pain in her life but nothing was like this.  Every nerve in her body felt like it had been hit with a nuclear blast.  She tried to open her eyes but the light was to bright and she felt herself starting to fall back into the abyss of peaceful nothingness.

Someone was stroking her face and she felt love and sorrow coming from them.  "Here."  Something cold was pressed against her lips.  Ice chips. Her mind told her.  Willow it told her a second later.

Willow watched the pain become visible on Buffy's face and she felt the weight of what had happen press down on her.  She angrily wiped the tears.  She didn't deserve to cry.  She wasn't the one in a hospital bed.

"I… I don't blame you." Buffy whispered knowing instantly what Willow was thinking.  She didn't know how but she felt everything that
Willow felt and thought.  "It was my choice to leave."  She smiled.  "It's okay to say it."

Buffy."  Willow whispered her heart lodge in her throat.  "I felt that thing attack you and I thought I had lost you.  You mean everything to me.  Please don't ever do this to me again.  I need you, Buffy.  I can't live without you.  Promise me you won't leave me."

Tears formed in her eyes listening to Willow pour her heart out.  She didn't deserve the love that the redhead gave her unconditionally.  She couldn't give Willow the things that she deserved.  She wouldn't be able to provide the life that Willow should have.  She shouldn't have to spend everyday taking care of her.  Buffy knew that Willow didn't care about that.  And if she did then she'd deny it.

"Buffy?"  Willow whispered, seeing the scared look in Buffy's eyes and tears streaming down her face.  "What is it? Are you okay? Do you need a doctor."

"I'm okay."  She whispered her voice sounding weak to her ears.  Suddenly everything hit her. 

The fight.

Leaving the library.

That thing attacking her.

Seeing her father.

Walking.

She had walked.

"I can't… "

"Can't what?"  Willow brought Buffy's injured hand to her lips gently kissing it.  Her other hand went to Buffy's face carefully avoiding the bandages on her face.  Absently she rubbed circles on her cheek.  "What can't you do?"

Willow's touch felt so right but it was so wrong.  She couldn't and wouldn't let Willow throw her life away because of her.

"I… I'm going to be…  I can't do things other people can."  She suddenly felt drained.  Her eyelids were so heavy and she could barely keep them open.  The events of the last few days suddenly rushed upon her and begged her to slip into darkness.

"It doesn't matter to me Buffy.  You've taught me that it was okay to be different.  That people shouldn't be ashamed of being different.  But most importantly you taught me that true love comes from right here…" Willow tapped her heart.  "Not from what's on the outside.  And I WILL NOT give up on you.  And I AM NOT going to let you slip away from me.  Because I love you and I will always love you Buffy Summers.  If I have to fight the hounds of Hell to prove it I will. And nothing that could ever happen will change the fact that you are beautiful, and smart… and… and the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with." 

The last few words choked out of her as she slumped over Buffy's body, the emotion of everything that had happened catching up with her.  "It doesn't matter."  She whispered into Buffy's chest.  "I love you."

"I love you too."  Her words were a faint whisper lost in the humming of machines and tears.

Everybody's looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings.

FINIS

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